postllimit:

why iphones gotta take two million years to turn back on after they die like you plug em in and you’re all ready to start texting again but they’re like “nope. i gotta take some time for myself. figure out who i am. you hurt me too much the last time. let me think.”

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posted 1 week ago with 622,560 notes

queenbaskerville:

commander-pixies:

incomprehensiblelentils:

wildparsnip:

my mom is on the phone with my dad (a microbiologist) and she told him “go to bed, turn off the computer, and just, just don’t do science. don’t do any science”

#darcy to jane
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posted 1 week ago with 126,479 notes

deletes:

I have the talent of getting tired without doing nothing

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posted 4 weeks ago with 462,441 notes
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posted 4 weeks ago with 53,252 notes

merlinisahuntingdetective:

kripke-is-my-king:

brassglasses:

mooseandtiger:

[x]

I want to see that episode. Where everyone calls them Sam and Dean and they’re all “no you don’t understand we’re actors OH GOD JARED GET THE SALT” and they just kind of have to survive while Misha flagrantly abuses his angel powers.

Like the opposite of The French Mistake. Oh god yes. This needs to happen and it needs to happen nOW.

SOMEONE TELL MISHA

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posted 4 weeks ago with 194,132 notes
Are you sure you’re ready for the world to see you, as you really are?
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posted 4 weeks ago with 9,742 notes

humorful:

my dad just said “i cant even”

image

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posted 4 weeks ago with 56,230 notes

helioscentrifuge:

gunz4hands:

new school year

did you mean:

image

image

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posted 4 weeks ago with 116,588 notes
actuallygrey:

peacockprinceofthevainglorious:

I have a business proposal is like to discuss

I’m gonna need that guys prosthetic leg.

actuallygrey:

peacockprinceofthevainglorious:

I have a business proposal is like to discuss

I’m gonna need that guys prosthetic leg.

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posted 4 weeks ago with 330,880 notes

"Mom, I can’t save during a battle!"

- Ancient proverb (via spoonfulofwilson)

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posted 4 weeks ago with 148,425 notes

tardis-mind-palace:

pi3rcethe-satans:

allonsymiddleearth:

brennanat:

You know how people buy drinks for girls in bars? Why can’t people do that in book stores? Like if I’m looking at a novel in Barnes and Noble and some person walks up to me and strikes up a conversation and offers to buy the book for me there is a lot better chance of that working out in their favor

I’m going to reblog this until it’s a cultural norm.

Lets do it

plus less chance of drugs being slipped into your book

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posted 4 weeks ago with 499,404 notes

the-super-scout:

helioscentrifuge:

runtime-err0r:

itsvondell:

you can take one man’s trash to another man’s treasure but you can’t make it drink

Fun fact: the blending of idioms or cliches is called a malaphor.

My personal favorite is “We’ll burn that bridge when we get to it.”

I looked it up b/c that was a very familiar idiom and how could it be wrong but then

image

yeah wow that’s spot on perfect

my catchphrase

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posted 4 weeks ago with 231,712 notes

ass-butt-fallen-angel:

This is the most beautiful post ever

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posted 4 weeks ago with 55,714 notes

The Maze Runner Countdown | 18 days to go

↳ Dylan’s running style

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posted 4 weeks ago with 3,954 notes

roughrimjob:

FEELING LIKE YOU BOTHER THE ONLY PERSON YOU WANT TO TALK TO IS REALLY SHITTY

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posted 4 weeks ago with 322,123 notes